If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
