am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
