.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
