i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
