dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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