Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
i need some magic done to my vagina
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
