Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
