She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
There's even glitter on my cock...
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
