Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Randomize
