He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
