I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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