Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
