Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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