just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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