dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
