so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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