wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
