The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
