My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
