ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
