One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
