I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
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