Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
