just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
