dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
