i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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