Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I deserve this hangover.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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