420 ftw
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
