Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?

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(516): View more from New York

if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...

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(770): View more from Georgia

I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.

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(901): View more from Tennessee

He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.

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(208): View more from Idaho

I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."

(1-208): View more from Idaho

Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.

(208): View more from Idaho

......... Poor kitty

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(519): View more from Ontario

What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?

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(845): View more from New York

I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead

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