3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
