He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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