i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
