yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
