Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
