is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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