susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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