he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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