If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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