I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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