just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
