I don't think brook has ever known best
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
