I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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