also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
