You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
My life is pants optional.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
