theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
