His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
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