Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
