O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize