Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
He better not be in your backpack
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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