I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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