you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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