think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize
