she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Randomize
