the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
