He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize
