i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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