Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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