that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
He kissed a someone with a penis
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Randomize
