I want to have your abortion
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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