some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Randomize
