Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Randomize
