So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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