who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
she told me i tasted like america
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
