My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
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