Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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