We're like a lot better than the average bears
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize