My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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